So, as some of you may or may not know,’ Midwest Lex’ has left the midwest. I’ve been in London for a month now, and it has easily been one of the best but hardest transitions of my life.
If you follow me on social media (Shameless plug @midwestlex_ across the board), you’d assume I’m having the best time of my life abroad. But, I think it’s time to get a bit more personal and real about my experience so far and with my life in general.
For a quick back story on how I got here, two of my biggest goals in life were to A. Make it to Europe, and B.Study fashion in a leading fashion industry. Both of which I’ve just ticked off my list by making my way here. So yes, I am in London for studying purposes. I figured living/studying in a different country would be an entirely different experience than just visiting one.
Now, I know most people would write about how amazing their first weeks have been (which in a way, they have been) but, I’m here to tell you that it’s not always as glamorous as it seems even if what we post on social media leads you to believe it is. I remember feeling so much pressure at first, to make it look like I was having the best time, but I wasn’t.
Week one and two were by far the hardest. I had been dealing with A LOT of homesickness and loneliness. It seemed like everyone around me was doing okay, adjusting, making friends, you know..the stuff you usually see or hear about when you ask people about their experience. But unfortunately, that wasn’t the case for me. It was a roller coaster of emotions. Some day’s I was having the best time exploring the city, and then the next I wanted to isolate myself and go home.
It took me a few day’s to realize that one, not everyone’s experiences are the same and two, I’m allowed to feel what I need to and accept the change at my own pace. I’m not typically a person that does well with emotions. Usually, I push them aside, but this time I didn’t let myself do that. I cried A TON, I forced myself to talk to new people, and finally, I decided I didn’t want to be sad anymore.
When you’re so used to your life in a specific place with specific people, and you leave it, life really throws you for a loop. I never realized how difficult being away from home would be until well, being away. Being a very introverted person in an entirely different country with absolutely no one you know by your side was, THE hardest adjustment I think I had to make. I had to challenge my dependence (that come to realize, I never really had) and bring it to life. I couldn’t wait for people to make me happy/ forget; I had to take charge of MY life and do that alone. I’m not going to get cheesy about how ‘we create the life we want’ but, we do.
Fast forward to a month in; things are MUCH better. I’ll admit, I still get lonely, I don’t fit in a ton, I still miss my family and friends but, that’s okay I’m having the best time making a life of my own. The separation from the life I was used to was necessary to focus on the development I needed to make. I spent so much time back home, focusing on other people want’s, and need’s that I never did that for myself. I can confirm that taking the leap across the pond has been the best decision of my life.
To wrap thing’s up, I understand that not everyone can move to another country to “find themselves” but remember, your life is 1/1. It’s vital to take the time to focus on yourself. There is no need for comparison, no need to front on social media, and no need to fake emotions. Take life as it comes and deal with it at your own pace and remember, “If it’s not okay in the end, it’s not the end.”
Since I’ve finally settled in, I hope that you guy’s follow me along for the rest of my journey!